at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
