This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
