Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
