At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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