im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
