I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
as a side note pls kill me
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