You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
