just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
