i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
