Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
