can u get pink eye on your cock?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
