how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
