margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
