if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
