i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
