..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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