He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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