And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
