Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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