What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
