best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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