i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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