He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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