He uses pillows to masturbate.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
