Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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