You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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