To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
