this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
