with your own penis?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
