i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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