Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
