you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
