Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
