Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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