It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
