I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
