oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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