you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
