The best revenge is premature balding
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
