Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
