That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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