it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
