Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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