Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just gift wrapped bread.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
