definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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