we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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