What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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