M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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