Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
God, I missed his penis.
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