the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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