i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
