from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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