If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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