I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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