so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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