I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
