You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize