he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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