why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize