i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
