But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
