i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
