I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
